Sunday, February 16, 2003

When you woke this evening, gentle reader, after a raucous Saturday filled with sin and debauchery, you doubtless wanted to start your night off with a little penance.

Assuming you don’t reread sentences and continually click on the link above, thereby forcing you into a vortex worthy of Bill Murray, you may have noticed something different about this site. At this point, my site—much like any member of the DEVIOUS female sex—will ask you an accordingly devious question: “Do you notice anything special about me?”

You, foolish reader, will likely fumble around for the answer to no avail.

“You did something with your hair, right?” you ask. “Something good, I mean,” you quickly append.

“Nope, my layout’s the same as ever,” replies Secondhand Rants, feathers a bit ruffled.

“You lost weight, didn’t you?” you ask with increasing desperation.

“Nope,” says my website, “I didn’t shrink my font.”

“I knew it!” you exclaim in a momentary flash of flawed deductive brilliance. “So you GAINED weight.”

This is when my website slaps you. Or rather, it’s when it CTRL-Slaps you.

I have not changed the layout, nor have I altered the font, nor have I decreased the amount of wisdom in the content, dear reader; in fact, the Wisdom Factory is at full crank now. Instead, I have improved your reading experience by removing the intrusive ad-bar at the top of the page.

That’s right—I’ve given the proverbial middle finger to the ad-bar and to the establishment by paying for ad-free Blogspot. Because, you know, nothing screams anti-establishment like shelling out fifteen quid to a faceless corporation.