Thursday, November 13, 2003

I’ve figured out why the sidewalk by my apartment complex stinks to high heaven. The answer came to me, gentle reader, when I stepped unwittingly on some berries that looked like small peaches but actually smelled like peaches straight out of a cat’s ass.

I’m not sure who in their right mind would ever plant such a tree on Main Street, though I suppose there’s no accounting for bad taste. We’ve all got to lose–and lose horribly–at the Olfactory Game sometime. Shel Silverstein, I’d like you to meet my Shitting Tree. That’s right, go ahead and eat your heart out.