Monday, February 13, 2006

Shits aplenty! You say you didn’t expect tonight’s conversation to begin with vulgarity, never mind pluralized vulgarity, nor did you think I’d break our four-day silence? Well, you presupposed incorrectly, because not only are we having a discussion right now, we are also going to forge a resolution this very evening.

Ideally I would resolve to dialogue with you five days a week, Mondays through Fridays, in a glorious transposition of the grind to the blogging world. The probability of this, if I may borrow the parlance of our pirate forefathers, is har har. A much more attainable goal, at least in the short term, is the decreased usage of expletives.

Our conversations have increasingly become pit stops for four-lettered words, an Ellis Island of filthy vowels and consonants. Now, I don’t pretend we discuss for children or Sunday school bake sales, but there is a strain of verbal morality tugging at the heartstrings. I have no doubt it will shrivel and die, such is the nature of vestigial structures, and I’m referring here to my heart. For now, though, it must be heeded–the resolution begins tonight. It will end, as you can well imagine, when I rediscover my decommissioned cache of fuckbombs.