Monday, September 24, 2007

Whoever’s responsible for trafficking adjectives and their meanings must have, in a misguided moment, swapped the definition of “asinine” with “inane.” The inane frequently shoulders the burden of the asinine, and it certainly sounds the part. But as far as proper usage goes, well, if this paragraph persists any longer, you’ll see inanity unfold before your very eyes.

Stylish Efficiency, with a capital “E,” is the aesthetic that appeals most to me. What it is and where it happens took a good long while to connect, but I think I’ve got the framework down. It’s about ensuring your actions do double–or triple, even quadruple–duty in a timely, off-the-cuff manner, sort of like a kinetic improv. As for where it happens, try everywhere.

Take wordplay, for example, where a double entendre serves its primary function as a more delicious subtext pulses underneath. Or how about a route decided on-the-fly, quickly but no less elegantly charted to avoid traffic and cruise through all the stops on your list? Maybe it’s an action flick where Jason Bourne beats the Peter, Paul, and Mary out of some guy with a magazine, then jams another magazine into a toaster to feed a gas leak. Even something as mundane as housecleaning turns slightly less mundane when you reach for that dishrag on the floor, use it to scrub the spot next to it, turn up the thermostat as you make your way to the washing machine, then drop the rag in with one hand while picking up the vacuum cleaner with the other.

How to make these two- and three-chains is simply a matter of being aware of what options are available to you at a given moment, followed by stitching together the pieces that readily fit to give the most benefit. The ultimate goal? To turn your daily routine into a kind of Rube Goldberg device, at which point you’ll also be able to wear a straitjacket and roll into your padded cell in one smooth motion.