Thursday, October 7, 2010

I recently tempted fate by letting an Xbox onto the homestead, a move which, I imagine, is similar to dropping an AA member into the local watering hole on dollar draft night with the sole charge of conversing about the importance of hops to any willing ear. Now, more than a month later, I’m pleased to report I’m still here, fully functional, ready to regale you with my theory on why I haven’t gone off the reservation.

The answer is media self-consciousness. We’ve discussed this before, and it’s this idea that every time I fire up the console, I do so with the conviction of society at large. It’s not just me pushing the “on” button, in other words, and as much as I’d like to lose myself in a digital haze, I know it’d be improper. I see the pastime as a non-gamer would see it. I’m not talking about mainstream coverage that links video games to shootings and the like, so much as the perception that gaming remains the province of nerds, pasty mole-like creatures who hang out, unbidden, at the nearest Gamestop.

I’ve been told on at least two occasions that I should celebrate how much I enjoy the 360 and that censoring myself, as I am wont to do, is a personal disservice. I guess I’m not staying true to myself? Or something? I’ve stuck to my guns, though, and I think I’m better for it. I remember one particularly vivid moment of confirmation–vindication, even–during an office party from a while back, where the Operator walked in on a Rock Band session.

“Oh. My. God,” she exclaimed prior to pulling the door shut.

I knew exactly what those three syllables meant. While there may have been rock, there certainly wasn’t a band, just a room full of grown men wielding plastic instruments. Fortunately I wasn’t playing at that exact moment, merely sitting on the couch instead, and although I was clearly a witness-accomplice, there was no mistaking me for lead guitar. So, media self-consciousness. Am I staying true to myself? Likely not, but it doesn’t strike me as a crutch. It’s a raft in a sea of circuitry.