Tuesday, November 13, 2012

This post feels kind of like the first jog you’d take after a long hiatus, where your dormant limbs connect with the pavement, step by halting step, until you settle back into your familiar contours. That’s what I imagine it’s like, anyhow, because running and, let’s be honest, exercise at large are purely theoretical conceits for me. In truth, it was my birthday last week, and as a present to myself I decided to close up shop here. Now, as much as I relished the break, I also felt its stupefying effects, so here we are. I need words! I need them to punch through the canopy of mental sloth.

Lately, I’ve been feeling out of sync. Part of this may be attributed to all the cake and rich food I’ve consumed, which more than likely have shifted my center of gravity to vectors unknown. It’s more a question of timing, though. It’s tough to explain, but I feel off. I find myself fighting to stay awake when everybody else seems energized. Conversations are a study in feigning engagement, probably poorly. And whereas I usually hit greens or reds on the road, I’ve been constantly running into yellows–whether I stop or go is 50/50–and it’s maddening.

I wish I could point definitively to the driving forces behind my current state. Is this a rite of passage? Punishment for aging? Perhaps it’s a dietary issue, and my non-paleo lifestyle is noticeably slowing me down. I simply don’t know. Sleeping more sounds like a good place to start. It always feels like a reboot, you know? Your head hits the pillow, you shut your eyes, and magically, instantly, all the world is reset.