| Secondhand Rants | Rock on, Sisyphus |
Busy hunting a cockroach. The last few were found dead. The sheer vigor coursing through this one makes it the scion, roach heir to all that’s been sown by my Tuesday stress. I’ve never seen an insect with such cunning, feigning death in a poor bid to outplay the game. Its legs give it unholy speed. But can it swim? You lose, little buddy, you lose.
Whoever thought of reproducing boring tasks as computer simulations deserves, if not a few swift kicks to a head, a wall full of medals commemorating these blows to the noggin. You look at something like The Sims, for example, kind of the bellwether of mainstream gaming, and you wonder: do people really enjoy clicking on their virtual selves to take out the trash or arrange office furniture? Because choosing wallpaper, y’know, thrilling.
The resounding answer is yes–choosing virtual wallpaper is thrilling. My secret hope is you clicked on yesterday’s link and drank deeply from the bounty, borne on the precious bandwidth I’ve rented for 40-odd bucks a year. The media, like most consumables, has a definite shelf life, but it will make you wonder how the mundane can be made anew, addictive even, and before you know it 15 minutes are gone.
It’s a restaurant/cooking/multitasking simulator, flush with horrendous graphics and borrowed music. But damn it if I didn’t enjoy slinging beers as if I actually appreciated them, or trying to catch a thief while keeping an eye on a customer’s burger. More dishes to do, you say? Fuck yes. A lead-in for a free blog post? Even better.
“Cranial distress” merely begins to describe the state of my Monday, even after plenty of help from a bottle of Tylenol, so heaven knows intelligible conversation is too tall an order for tonight. You know what this means. I’m going to ply you with entertainment complete with hints, for those of you who fake literacy. We both know better, of course.