Friday, November 12, 2004

Secondhand Rants will return on Monday, November 15.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Tamales? Sure, I’ve heard of them, maybe even tasted one or two along the way, but until a few months ago I never sampled street tamale. One of my co-workers occasionally treats the office to bagfuls of the stuff, and I look forward to these mornings with well seasoned longing.

I’ve been bred on Chipotle and, I’m ashamed to admit, the rare Chalupa from Taco Bell, so my faux-Mexican cuisine traditionally contains a bit of certitude along with a sprinkle of cheese. There’s comfort in knowing that although a massive corporation doesn’t have my optimum heart rate in mind, it does promise a consistent taste and a minimum level of quality. And I haven’t even broached the topic of free salsa.

That’s why my first encounter with street tamale opened my eyes to a dangerously seductive corner of the culinary world. I asked my co-worker where he bought these tamales, and he shrugged his shoulders. Didn’t remember, he said. From some guy. On a street corner somewhere.

Even today, when I walked into the office to my fourth tamale morning, the sense of picanted peril still loomed large. There on the table sat three bags–unmarked, mind you–filled with different flavors of steamed goodness. I downed one in a jiffy, and when I inquired about the type of meat product in my breakfast laxative, another co-worker gave a cryptic answer.

“El Gato,” he said with a chuckle.

I wonder what he meant?

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

I usually limit myself to one or two shocking revelations per week, gentle reader, and I try to keep quiet about them. This one just takes the cake, though. Do you realize that Christmas Eve and Christmas Day will fiendishly entangle themselves with the weekend for the next few years? In 2005, both days will land on the weekend, as will New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day. Bosses across the nation are feverishly wringing their hands in anticipation.