Tuesday, September 16, 2003

Here’s a happy epilogue for you, gentle reader. I tried to microwave some soup today–without any air conditioner and without any lights, mind you–and the electricity still insisted on blinking out. Upon stepping through the dreaded basement door, I discovered that a certain large insect had recently given up the ghost. I win!

Monday, September 15, 2003

Prepare yourself this Friday, gentle reader, as Kate Beckinsale bursts onto the silver screen wearing tasteful leather and toting two, count ’em two shiny gats. Movie snobs may scoff in advance with slightly effete British voices, but I’ve got high hopes for the movie, especially after seeing Once Upon a Time in Mexico this past weekend.

You’d think that a trailer replete with a guitar-gun wielding Antonio Banderas would send warning signals blaring in my skull, but no! I paid seven clams to see it, and the movie honestly left me feeling slightly dumb. If you watch it and if you can give an accurate summary of the plot, then you get a gold star. I was thoroughly lost, and the mid-movie appearance of–gasp!–Enrique Iglesias was just plain freaky and did nothing to clarify matters. Willem Dafoe also sports a funky accent and spends most of the time glaring at the camera. There were, however, two redeeming aspects for all you sunshiny types: first, fans of Johnny Depp will probably enjoy the movie, if only for his scenes. Second, a lot of Mexicans were flying around. That last one’s for you, Senor Schrier.

Sunday, September 14, 2003

My dad informed me that the average salary of America as a whole is–are you ready for this, gentle reader?–$26,000. That’s something to think about.

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