Sunday, May 4, 2003

Saturday evening saw the Dining Crew (with Jason Moy, harpsichordist extraordinaire) at the Cheesecake Factory, a restaurant that offers a visual feast in addition to troughs and troughs of super-healthy food.

It was here, gentle reader, that I saw a motley procession of people. There was a nun who wore a dark-grey variation of the classic black habit; I remember seeing a man with a shrunken right arm who sashayed with woman and Heineken in tow; haughty people, perhaps a zero or two shy of the Norshore bracket, with chins held high and clothes a bit too fancy for the Factory; a violinist and a cellist making a beeline for the bathroom; high schoolers gorging themselves on a HEAPING HELPING of suck-face before being seated; all of it very interesting.

Good food and conversation followed, and the night came to a contented close. And now, the Mistress of Repose beckons to me after a morning in church. Good night, dear reader!

Thursday, May 1, 2003

Many thanks to George and rival CEOs Esther and Patrick for their assistance in the relocation of our fair business.

In a few days, gentle reader, you will step into my new e-foyer: Secondhandrants.com! We’re moving to the big time. I’d cue the drum roll, but the drummer got a little too annoying, so I fired him–with a shotgun.

Hugs and Kisses,
CEO Ben

Blogger, I hate you.

In case you’re wondering, gentle reader, where the posts from the last few days went, I’ll tell you: they’ve GONE TO HELL. Blogger is innovative, sure, but the nitwits in Pyra.com’s tech support department are either nonexistent or on an extended lunch break.

Please pardon our dust as Secondhand Rants attempts to weather this shitstorm.