Thursday, November 15, 2012

I’ve stayed true, in a way, to my stance on charity runs because my registration fee will be the only thing attending in my stead this weekend. My other pledge–to create more–is an entirely different matter. I’ve made good on it. I’ve made good on it in spades, and I haven’t even started the project I mentioned.

There is a creative element to this blog, but it’s not enough. I’ve been doing this for a while now, mainly to preserve a baseline of mental acuity, and I’ll be the first to admit there’s something slightly disingenuous about it. Some weeks–hopefully not this week, of course–it’s, like, “All right! Time to hit the keyboard and shit out two posts.” Well, I have shat out two posts this week, so check. I’ve also been making a game.

Let me be clear. I’m not doing any of the actual development, nor would anybody want me to do so. I submit to you my coding credentials: the dubious honor of being one of two students to get an “F” on the midterm in Intro to Computer Science. Couldn’t even swing a C++, you could say. But what began as an entrant in a 48-hour jam submission has found some legs, and we’ll be submitting the next iteration to another competition in two weeks.

Development’s the meat of the workflow, make no mistake, and while the tasks I’ve picked up–map design, tweaking, QA, writing–lack the glamour, I find them fascinating, particularly the first two. My gaming vocabulary is rich, as you know, from decades of consumption, and being able to draw upon that to build something is thrilling. I like thinking about the texture, the feel of games, and when a hunch proves right, a feature clicks, and it’s just plain fun, there’s nothing quite like it. Time disappears–and it’s exactly what the doctor ordered.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

This post feels kind of like the first jog you’d take after a long hiatus, where your dormant limbs connect with the pavement, step by halting step, until you settle back into your familiar contours. That’s what I imagine it’s like, anyhow, because running and, let’s be honest, exercise at large are purely theoretical conceits for me. In truth, it was my birthday last week, and as a present to myself I decided to close up shop here. Now, as much as I relished the break, I also felt its stupefying effects, so here we are. I need words! I need them to punch through the canopy of mental sloth.

Lately, I’ve been feeling out of sync. Part of this may be attributed to all the cake and rich food I’ve consumed, which more than likely have shifted my center of gravity to vectors unknown. It’s more a question of timing, though. It’s tough to explain, but I feel off. I find myself fighting to stay awake when everybody else seems energized. Conversations are a study in feigning engagement, probably poorly. And whereas I usually hit greens or reds on the road, I’ve been constantly running into yellows–whether I stop or go is 50/50–and it’s maddening.

I wish I could point definitively to the driving forces behind my current state. Is this a rite of passage? Punishment for aging? Perhaps it’s a dietary issue, and my non-paleo lifestyle is noticeably slowing me down. I simply don’t know. Sleeping more sounds like a good place to start. It always feels like a reboot, you know? Your head hits the pillow, you shut your eyes, and magically, instantly, all the world is reset.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Secondhand Rants will return on Tuesday, November 13.