Wednesday, May 21, 2003

While strolling along the boardwalk today during my lunch hour, gentle reader, an old, wizened gent waddled up to me and handed me a book. It was a dusty tome, its pages gilded with burnished silver, and it was entitled Didacticism, Moron Edition. Here’s the first page:

Tip 1: Avoid pointless iconoclasm.

Tip 2: If it’s cloudy outside and the sun isn’t shining, please don’t wear shades. That’s just played.

Tip 3: If you can’t deliver a punch-line, then offer to punch your listener in the shoulder instead. A slug in the shoulder is far less painful than an aborted witticism.

Can you tell that I’m slightly grumpy, dear reader? It’s time for me to crush and mutilate life’s lemons to make sweet, sweet lemonade.