Saturday, August 23, 2003

Even with all of her stunning brunette charm, favorite actress Claire Forlani could not save The Medallion from sheer mediocrity. My 7.50 joined Chhay’s 7.50 in a swirling trip down the crapper almost as soon as the film began. Oh, there were some fun parts–a certain scene involving multiple surgical wounds fit my mood to a “T”–but the actors continued to spout horrendous dialogue and the Special Effects Machine coughed in fits and spurts. I wasn’t expecting Meet Joe Black, mind you, but I wasn’t expecting Shred My Money, Set It on Fire, Then Drown the Ashes either.

Nevertheless, as I’ve mentioned time and time again, gentle reader, I try to make the best of my upper-middle class crises; lemonade from the ruins of diluted lemon Kool-Aid, as it were. One of the trailers preceding the movie was spectacular, no questions asked. To borrow a line from another fine movie, “Yet hope remains while the company is true.” Kate Beckinsale, vampiric martial arts, and lycanthropy, you say? Where do I sign up?