Thursday, September 4, 2003

Here’s a hypothetical for you. You’re stuck on a deserted island with only a gun, a cow, lots of enriched flour, a downed rescue copter inexplicably filled with condiments, and the Culligan Man (complete with Culligan Truck) gone off his rocker. What would you do? You could either be very innovative, gentle reader, or you could be a very, very bad person.

Ah, so you want to know what know what the correct answer is. Well, even if you don’t, I’ll tell you anyway. Here we go, the correct order of operations: shoot psychotic Culligan Man, get spring water, make bread, milk cow, make cheese, shoot cow, make burgers complete with fixings, shoot down another rescue copter filled inexplicably with lettuce and tomatoes. The only problem with this scenario is that you’ll only have cheeseburgers once, but hey! Condiment sandwiches will do in a pinch, or so I’ve heard. Actually, I’ve heard nothing of the sort.