Sunday, September 21, 2003

The next time you shop for food, gentle reader, see if you can find Skinny Cow ice cream. Had I known that “The Skinny Cow Bar,” Cookies N’ Cream edition, would leave a vile aftertaste in my mouth, I would’ve passed on these dairy treats. They were on sale, however, so my Asian genes screamed “Buy, you fool, buy!” and I capitulated. I also noticed later in the evening that the box featured hilarious, yet creepy caricatures of cows with humanoid female bodies, all of them lounging around in seductive poses.

That, of course, didn’t exactly clock in as a perk, but I figured I’d type it anyway for that one stray surfer who Googles “creepy caricatures of cows with humanoid female bodies, all of them lounging around in seductive poses.” There, happy?

Suffice to say that I promptly gave a bar to Lt. Neatfreak, who nibbled away half a bar, retched, then tossed the “treat” out the car window as I zoomed through a deserted, unlit street. Some squirrel’s gonna get it, mark my words.