Thursday, October 9, 2003

If rumors are correct, gentle reader, then Ice Mountain water comes straight from a place that’s very near–too near, you might say–to my heart. Whenever you hear the phrase “spring water,” don’t you envision serene, tree-dotted landscapes untouched by civilization? Too bad the folks at Nestle don’t share the same vision, as they apparently siphon gallons and gallons of the stuff from Lake, oh, MICHIGAN.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Some batches actually do spring from exotic lands such as Pennsylvania. Some batches, however, hail from a top secret location found but a few miles away. Call it a mirage or a mind trick or what have you, but I swear I’ve driven by the location a few times. This might be the same Shangri-la that people jog by, swim in, throw stuff into, use for kayak races, and, you knew this was coming, pee in. And you know what? I’m going to protest by drinking bottle after bottle after bottle, since we get them for free at work.