Monday, October 27, 2003

Do you ever wonder, gentle reader, why leasing offices insist on receiving rent each and every month? I’ll be blithely spending money, happily oiling the very cogs on which our freemarket society rests, when the end of the month hits and cha-ching! Rent is due.

Eight hundred clams go shooting down the crapper, and I’m stuck eating soup and soup for the next few days. And for the life of me, rent always catches me off guard, and what follows is an egregious loss of cashola. The best way to describe this would be to coin a new term: Rentstruation, if you will, and you will. Well, no more! I’ve had it up to here with these shystery shenanigans.

I’ve got two onions, half a can of condensed milk, a preowned bulb of garlic, a seat-less bike, and some Tupperware, all of which add up to a combined retail value of, oh, $800.00 USD. That’s after I autograph the items. All right, a show of hands. Who thinks this barter deal will really work? Everyone? Good. You can put your hands down now.