Monday, January 10, 2005

As far as Mondays go, gentle reader, this one is the shits. Literally. I thought today couldn’t get any worse, but reports filtering into the office have confirmed that, no joke, someone had a major accident in the stairwell leading to the parking garage.

One of my buddies theorizes a bum ran into the stairwell, evacuated his bowels, and then fled the scene, effectively transforming the two-story structure into a concrete toilet. It wouldn’t be so bad if we were talking about, you know, solids. A far more accurate description, if you’ll let your mental canvas stretch, would be EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA.

I heart Evanston, truly.