Tuesday, December 6, 2005

The cardinal rule of personal websites in the corporate world is simple. You don’t have a site. Admitting otherwise would be like confessing at a PTA meeting your tendency to hang around playgrounds, trench coat and dark glasses equipped, in a quest to feed your insatiable lust for Playskool playsets or something. That’s the general vibe I get, anyhow, and in some cases it’s a crying shame. It’s always fascinating to see another side of people, and I was pleasantly surprised to discover a link to us here, an old work buddy’s homepage.

Trading personal links in the working world is taboo, I think, because there’s the unspoken apprehension you’ll find something that’s liable to get the author fired. Certainly this isn’t the case with the above link, but you know what I’m talking about if you’re an office slave. The offending exhibit would look something like this.

Saturday, January 17, 2011 :::

Dear Diary,

You know Becky in HR, the one we call the office bicycle? Well, she’s the town tricycle now.

Wednesday, March 15, 2013 :::

Dear Diary,

Tried setting fire to the break room today, but Marty came in to microwave a bag of popcorn so I had to snuff out the starter and burned myself a little in the process. HOLY SHIT I AM GOING POSTAL.

Monday, June 21, 2013 :::

Dear Diary,

I am going to shank my supervisor with the very paperclips he so jealously covets. I will only use the blue ones.

Tuesday, June 22, 2013 :::

Dear Diary,

Got fired today. WHY GOD WHY DID THIS HAPPEN.

Current mood: a little sad or whatever they call the desire to hang oneself

Current song: entire Donnie Darko soundtrack ripped in the lowest bitrate possible

How did we end up on Artemenko.org? Haven’t the foggiest. This should solidify yesterday’s conversation, I believe, because it goes to show I have little idea who visits our golden shores.

The other cardinal rule is reciprocation, so there you go, buddy. Enjoy the massive amount of traffic I will drive to your site, which current estimates peg at 2.5 unique users–1.0 being me, the other 1.5 being a woman who still lives on Three Mile Island. Legend has it she constructed an Internet connection out of free shoehorns and trace quantities of cesium.