Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Greetings. Our host is busy tonight, no doubt pretending to enjoy The New Yorker.

Oh, so wonderful! It is just like the Earth Mother foretold in the Prophecy!

I try to conquer the Earth Mother every night with Pinky.

???

Your triplicated usage of question marks does give one pause.

??!?!???

I’m patient, if nothing else. Let’s have a discussion and start simply.

OK!

Are you a woman or an effeminate man? You people all look the same.

Gasp! How can you say such things, if we are to find the seven crystals together?

Seven! Woman–and I’m theorizing you’re female–I wasn’t aware of the one.

Like the Earth Mother told me in a dream, once we have the seven crystals we can reforge the Sword of Takahirihochi to free the land of evil!

That’s unequivocally adorable. Your eyes are prodigious, much like my frontal lobe.

Are…are you hitting on me?

You may be assured of it.

! ! ! ! ! !

Do you have a boyfriend?

Yes. He broods a lot and has spiky green hair.

Are you pondering what I’m pondering?

. . . . . . . . .

Let me guess. Your boyfriend is in a volcano somewhere, trying to block a katana slash with his teeth while crying into his magic cloak.

It is a magic bandanna, and yes.