Thursday, July 23, 2009

I suppose it’s uncouth to think about one blog while you’re updating another, but that is precisely what I’m doing now, bad manners all dialed up to 11, for a very good reason. I’m not thinking about FlickFool, mind you, our 50-word movie review site I updated approximately 50 times before disappearing completely. It’s a dismal state of affairs in that part of town, really. I renewed the domain name a few weeks ago, which apparently doesn’t forward correctly anymore, and truth be told it felt a little bit like online alimony. Terrible, I know.

Nor am I thinking about any spiritual successors to the site you’re browsing right this moment. A Firsthandrants.com could be possible, I guess, but the more premium quality rants would probably sound to you like a solid string of filthy swear words, you Philistine. No, I’m thinking about the company blog, where I’ll be contributing about once a week in short order, and it’s a venue that is basically the polar opposite of all you see before you.

For one thing, I continue to be mortified whenever Secondhand Rants wends its way into real-world conversation. Obviously it’s public. At the same time, though, it’s not intended to attract attention, since I’m writing here primarily for myself. I’d feel dumber if I didn’t. It’s, like, by all means you can read it. I simply don’t want to know you read it. A company blog, on the other hand, thrives on attention. It’s why it’s there, after all. No profanity will be allowed, I’ve confirmed, much to my dismay. I imagine excessive italics won’t be tolerated either.

The appeal here lies in the potential for growth. A professor once offered the following diagnosis of my writing: postmodern, sometimes charming, grammar is mostly there, but I need to learn to be relevant. Relevancy. Relating. To write for other people. This is the puzzle I’m trying to crack. For my first post, perhaps I’ll tell a few jokes, talk about what I ate for lunch, and then offer incisive commentary on the local weather, all under my new pseudonym: the Loan Ranger. Yes.