Thursday, January 19, 2012

When I called Verizon to disable texting, back in the day, I did so with a singular purpose, my conviction tempered by one too many unsolicited texts. The very notion that I had to pay to receive spam, even if it was only pennies per message, was an affront to my senses. Up to this point, spam had been traditionally free to receive, even in its corporeal form. There wouldn’t be, like, any postage due if a credit card application landed in your mailbox.

But this was exactly what it was like for text spam, and I was incensed to the utmost. Now, in an era where plans allow for an infinite number of texts in any given month, this objection simply doesn’t hold water anymore. In its place, instead, is the freedom I’ve come to appreciate from a phone that doesn’t regularly bleep in accordance with other people’s streams of consciousness. Ridiculous as this may sound, I like the barriers to entry involved in calling, rather than thumbing, because it hints at a higher level of commitment. That’s about the shape of it.

I’m in the market for a new phone, though, and the draw of smartphones is certainly there. There are external exhortations, too–no fewer than four verbal requests this past year to get with the times, one of which was heartfelt and possibly rehearsed. But if I’m being truly honest with myself, I know the probability of heeding any of these entreaties is low. The freedom is simply too sweet. You will notice that interacting with smartphones typically requires a pose of supplication–and I will bow to no phone.