Tuesday, August 20, 2013
The Chief once asked me, during a secret call on a hot Chicago summer afternoon, whether I was a left- or right-brained person. The honest answer would’ve been “neither” as I sat in my car in a random parking lot, fumbling with my flip phone while fiddling with the AC on the sly. I was fresh out of college, three years into my first job, and my goal at that exact moment wasn’t to plumb the depths of my psyche to satisfy an interview question–it was to ensure I didn’t sound like I was furtively interviewing in my car. Didn’t want the vents blowing on my phone. Didn’t want to roll down the windows, for fear of street noise. And so I shut off the engine, left the windows up, and cooked in a silent automobile, reasoning that this would be the cost of my ticket out of the Midwest.
The city isn’t done with me yet, apparently. Seven years later, I’m headed back. Technically I’ll be moving to Dallas, with regular flights to Chicago, but there you go. Full circle. Two weeks ago, I thought I had it all figured out. I was set on joining Deadpan at his venture. Had the commute all planned out, even. But then one night, the Chief called with an opportunity. “Corleone me,” I said, he did, and here we are. The road to this decision wasn’t easy, by any means. The thought of leaving behind friends and family and a place I consider home was gutwrenching. I weighed the pros and cons of each opportunity, reweighed them again, went round and round in the circles of indecision.
Left-brained or right-brained? Science or art? Analytical or intuitive? Head or heart? “Both” was my answer that summer afternoon, as a kind of hedge, but if you were to ask me the same question today, I’d say the latter. Right-brain has the veto, in my old age. And when I was finally able to quiet myself and trace the contours of each path, I realized I wasn’t trying to decide. I was trying to say goodbye. Next stop, Texas. Never been, but I hear Earth Chick, the Operator, Boss G, Bakespeare, Lady Cheerington, the Professor, and King Calm are all there. Is home truly where the heart is? Let’s go find out.