Ten years from now, gentle reader, what kind of satchel will you carry on your way to work? As I walked to the office today, it dawned on me that one of the problems plaguing our society is that people simply don’t care about what other people are carrying. What’s that you say? You want to make a difference?
“I want to make a difference,” you say. Excellent!
It just so happens that my Ideas for Fixing Societal Problems Department cooked up a scorcher these past few days. It’s simple, really. The next time you trot along the street and spy a satchel that strikes your fancy, just wrap your grubby little paws around it! Isn’t this easy? You’ll want to show that you care, of course, so in mid-grab say, “I care.” This works especially well if you’re a male and you’re gunning for a purse. With that in mind, women should start carrying two purses to accommodate those really wide sidewalks.
Winking and “mistakenly” grabbing limbs are also recommended, but I obviously don’t want the cops to toss you into the clink, so try to limit yourself to three winks apiece.
How’s the Sleep Industry doing? Is there any demand at all? I plan on doing some market research. Like right now.
To: Investors
Re: Remodeling
Dearest Gentle Reader,
I woke up this morning to the alternating sounds of silence and honking, and it finally occurred to me that college life is over.
I looked around my skyscraper and remembered–I remembered when it was new and shiny, filled with noise and promise and the anticipation of things to come. And then there came a time when the skyscraper emptied; things and people that were rooted, friendly, and green poured out without choice or pause.
Along the tree-lined streets walk unfamiliarity and change, even as the same birds sing their same suburbia song. One question circles all of this over and over like a groggy commuter his Classifieds: Is this my lot?
I looked around my skyscraper and found out, much to my surprise, that although I can recall the Old with fondness, I have no desire to return to it. A large part of me moved on long ago. Yet I move on with trepidation, some sadness, and a commensurate amount of excitement. To these things I commit and to you a
Good Day,
CEO Ben