Hear me now, gentle reader, as I lay before you the fruits of my weeklong hajj. The question of the new millennium, then:
To Erasmus or Erasmusn’t?
This question came down from the mountain as I ate genetically engineered grapes in great quantity. I’d just polished off a bowl of organic grapes, you see, but the grapes nurtured by Mother Labcoat’s hand simply tasted better. Perhaps it’s the gargantuan size of the berries or the stat-defying percentage of unblemished fruit, I don’t know.
I may conclude, then, that the penultimate paragraph from yesterday’s post is, as they say in the business, a crock of steaming dookie. So what did I really do with my time? I invested it in more than a thousand pages of Tolkien, that’s what I did. And when I finished the text proper, I proceeded to delve into the Appendices of Middle Earth with aplomb. Aren’t you proud of me, Whimsy? That said, I shall not be learning Elvish, nor will I be attending any Lord of the Rings conventions.
My thoughts turned to you, gentle reader, while I wasted away at the airport for hours on end during the past two days. I promised to return on the 22nd, that is true, but with a delayed flight here, a canceled flight there–well, even CEO-class accommodations cannot weather the devilish designs of inclement lightning and rain.
“Were you in a foul mood?” you ask me.
Yes, dear reader, yes I was! But rest assured that no bile was directed toward you. In fact, just to keep things straight with you, I reserve ill will for alternating Fridays. And so I waited for hours, filled with wanderlust, wanting to talk with you. My epiphanies, longer epiphanies, medium revelations: All of these I wish to share with you in due time.
Good night for now!
Hold on to your Hawaiian shirts, gentle reader. Secondhand Rants will return in a week to accompany you on those cold, lonely, corporate evenings. Yeah.
Our workplace, you’ll be aghast to know, has gone on for an earthshaking one day without any accidents, so you know something’s wrong. It’s time to crush some more hapless employees and bring the count back to zero.
Until we meet again in Jew-lie 22nd, dear reader!