Monday, July 7, 2003

While driving past a herd of moo-cows today, gentle reader, it suddenly occurred to me that alternatives to tipping are in desperate demand. I bet dousing cows in milk would really freak some farmers out.

Now it’s your turn. Any takers?

Sunday, July 6, 2003

Upon whom or what do I blame my lack of regular updates? The answer, of course, is you, gentle reader.

Actually, my lateness is due to the sheer number of important tasks I’ve had to accomplish recently. My PDA honestly exploded before my very eyes, I’m telling ya! To wit: Just a few hours ago, I was engaged in an afternoon hunt for rhinocerphants up and down the Limpopo River.

Our stock has devalued at an alarming rate.

I have also acquired the compulsive need to make fibs and fabricate gigantic whoppers, though this is a malady limited to today.

Saturday, July 5, 2003

I played a glorious two sets of tennis today, dear reader, and I am inspired by the way the Williams sisters pick up and–gasp–reuse tennis balls during their matches. It takes some of the “oo” out of snooty Wimbledon, you know?

My mum also purchased more than seven pounds of bread after a second viewing of The Pianist. Thanks a lot, Adrien Brody. I’ll probably be consuming sandwiches for the rest of the month.