Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Around Thanksgiving Day I believed, in a stroke of marvelous idiocy, we could revolutionize the very concept of attendance. Why should I suddenly abandon you, close up shop on a seeming whim, when I could warn you the day before I left?

You’d think such innovation would reap lavish rewards, gentle reader, but I’ve found no such prizes. It’s stupid to announce a closing date and then reopen hours later, only to close again immediately. “Rhythmically unsound” is what they call it, and you just can’t do that kind of thing, mess around with time, and hope to escape cosmic retribution.

I’ll be gone until the 27th of December, when I look forward to resuming our discussions. I wish you the very best for the holidays. You know what? I think it’s high time you heeded last year’s resolution and stopped eating the mistletoe. Good fiber, bad etiquette. I will see you in days.