Wednesday, March 9, 2005

Contrary to what you may think, dear reader, there are moments when I trade gleeful neglect of your needs for genuine concern. Look around you. Notice any difference? If you’re using Internet Explorer, then the correct answer is “no,” though I won’t hold that against you. I imagine, however, there are some of you who use the other browser, the one to which I’ve been recently made privy. Yes, I’ve seen the light.

For the longest time, Firefox struck me as one of those hippie fads, a conceit bandied about simply because it somehow landed a grievous blow to the establishment. I tried it once, way back whenever, and it ran too slowly for me to be iconoclastic. It went straight in the trash can, only to reemerge on my box to my recent delight. Oh, Firefox. I cherish you so.

It’s slimmer. Faster. Cleaner. Customizable. Absolutely huggable. Something changed between then and now, and I’ve been thoroughly converted. The Adblock extension is, in a rather hypocritical twist, my favorite addition. The entire package seduces you with its eyes. You want to pet it as if it were a kitten.

Those of you who’ve been using Firefox for a while, you have my apologies. I am contrite, a changed man bowed with shoulders shaking. This alternative browser doesn’t reward stupidity, nor does it coddle dyslexia, so I fixed some things. Backward slashes have been corrected. You won’t feel unwelcome when you ride roughshod onto my porch in 800×600 resolution. Indeed, our discussions have been digitally remastered. Welcome to your new digs. And in the name of Dr. Scholl, take off your shoes.