Wednesday, June 29, 2005
The most persuasive voices have dogged me, dear reader, and implored me to see Batman Begins before it leaves theaters, never mind what the critics have said or not said. Really, if you had to paint the spectrum, you’ve got one camp raving about it, framing it as a dark addition that expands the canon to fertile new boundaries, and you’ve got the other camp deploying unfavorable comparisons to Memento.
So, basically it’s like other movies, right? The source material dear to me, however, cobbled from various cartoons and older movies, holds a certain charm, so the question is this: how does the latest episode treat that charm? Presumably it could encourage a standing ovation, maybe even fan fiction or some nonsense. It could just as easily lure me into a sinister alleyway and Episode III me to tears. In the end? I want to have an abortion on Naboo, Anipoo, given I’m content with the original story arc.
Because the Three Blind Mice should stay blind, the Little Red Hen shouldn’t eat the bread, nor should Cinderella stay locked in the woodshed while her ugly stepsister bangs the prince. I’m not in the market for such reimaginings. You don’t cradle the Last Supper in your hand and go, “Huh! I really need to amp this.”
INT – UPSTAIRS – NIGHT
“Judas, I’d like to introduce you to a little friend I call 1 Corinthians,” says Jesus Christ, procuring matching Desert Eagles from his robe, “along with its buddy 2 Corinthians. Do this in remembrance of me.”
He caps Judas twice in the noggin.
Judas dies. (Slo-mo w/bullet time.)
Never mind this isn’t proper screenplay format. It’s simply not proper. Period. While Batman by no means approaches divinity, the sentiment remains. Will I find eight bucks worth of sound reinvention or gross perversion?