Tuesday, March 30, 2010

I’m no closer today than I was back in September to formulating the ultimate interview question, and I can’t say I’m particularly devastated. The well there is simply dry, and I shall plumb it no further. What I devised today, instead, were four questions, assembled in such a way to resemble a written test, the likes of which I would’ve loathed as an interviewee. Now, not one of the questions approaches “ultimate” status, merely passable, but taken in tandem they achieve their secret purpose: to offer a glimpse into the mind of an applicant.

The initial draft took about an hour to construct, and I was pleased with the outcome. It’s self-contained, first and foremost, and all the factual answers you need are right on the page, provided you make the effort to locate them. I also saved the test to the latest version of Excel, which means that opening the file itself may constitute a brain teaser for candidates with older versions of Office. But here, too, 30 seconds of Googling would yield a ready solution. The difficulty curve is also tougher to track, with a simple first query, followed by a steeper drop, then a softer finish. The questions are more open-ended as well–no multiple choice here–and the spaces allotted for answers are of uniform size to avoid telegraphing complexity. All aboard the Mindfuck Express!

Even as I was typing the test, however, I was mindful of the larger context. These days interviews themselves, never mind open positions, can be a rare commodity, and I wanted to respect this. It’s nerve-wracking to sit in the hot seat, frankly, and there’s something profoundly discordant about being expected to package your past experience, your baggage–indeed, your very life up to this moment–into a cogent hours-long presentation.

But that’s the rub. It’s an interview, not a feel-good session of self-affirmation. I need to gather as much data within that period of time, brief as it is, to determine whether I can count on you in the long haul. A rotten state of affairs, I know. I know. I sat on the other side of the table a few years ago, and the following question was posed to me: if I were to be consumed by an animal, which fell beast would I choose to carry out the deed? A chupacabra, I proposed, because if I am to be ingested, I may as well witness a mythical creature in the process. Better answer, in retrospect? An interviewer.