Thursday, June 5, 2014

Finally, a bite. At a 25% response rate on these new engines, you’d think I’d be streaking–we’re going streaking, everybody–through the neighborhood, but when you’re pursuing leviathan-class, 25% really just means one of the four matches you messaged actually deigned to respond. Still, it’s a data point that’s far better than what I was seeing on eHarmony, and buried in it is possibility–possibility that my charted course may not be a fool’s errand, after all.

But beyond this, there are no expectations. There is only the next match, the next opening line, and no emotional capital to be spent on dwelling. I didn’t go into online dating expecting to learn anything of substance, and I was completely wrong about this. Not dwelling on matters is a fantastic and fantastically hard skill to learn, especially for someone who likes to agonize over a thought, turning it over every which way.

Ironically enough, though, you do have to agonize over your profile. Adding new pictures helps for sure, but the biggest coup I’ve seen is from refining the text. There have been smaller tweaks to be made here and there, because even copy that seems bulletproof can benefit from revision. But what really makes you stand out, shows your colors, is the voice. I’ve been experimenting with different pitches–thoughtful, earnest, direct–but the most effective one? It’s this voice, salty but sure, tuned to the key of douche minor.